Parents are encouraged to put the child first in co-parenting situations as a positive parental relationship is a key factor in the development of children.

Counselor Dr. Robert Wright and featured father Mr. Brain Ismael spoke of the importance of positive parental relationships as part of Men’s month activities.

Dr. Wright said, “You have to care what you are putting out, what the future is going to receive, so it begins with the development and the nurturing in a stage when they are still impressionable and where it still makes a difference.”

Dr. Wright added that at various stages of the child’s life even if the child does not know what they are missing, they do know instinctively that something is missing.  That void he added must be filled by something or someone. 

Dr. Wright also shared his personal experience of having to fight for a child in two countries because he was determined to be a part of that child’s life. 

He said, “You have to want to do it.  Regardless of how you feel about the mother, it is not up to that woman it is up to me to do what I’m supposed to do.”

Men in similar situations were also encouraged to remain focused on the child and to be consistent with finances, love and sound parenting.  If there is a major problem with one parent the panelist urged men to bring the matter before the court.

“The law is very fair and even handed, but it is slow,” Dr. Wright said and added, “A man has to have the patience and the desire to see the process to the very end .  If a man is paying child support and is not allowed to see the child, he still has to pay that child support. . Getting angry will not help.  Do what you are supposed to do and then allow the law to do what it has to do on your behalf.  It takes patience but the law will get it right.”

Meanwhile, featured father Mr. Ismael said the focus has to be on the child and when there is a broken relationship, parents must focus on the child and his/her well-being. 

Mr. Ismael underscored the importance of mutual respect. He said, “You have to find a mutual ground. Both of you have to get together to set goals for the raising of the child. You are going to have misunderstandings but you have to find a way to come together.”

Mr. Ismael encouraged fathers to be consistent in the child’s life. He said men must educate them, speak one on one, be honest, and be a role model for the child and prepare the child to become an adult.

Persons interested in learning more about healthy co-parenting relationships can tune into CBN channel 51 from today Wednesday, June 17 to Wednesday June 30 at 7:00 a.m., 2:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. daily.

Persons are also invited to attend a Co-parenting Conscious Parenting course offered by the Social Development Department.  The workshops will be held at the BVI Red Cross Conference Room every Tuesday and Thursday from June 16 to July 9 from 5:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.